thinking of not thinking
Have u ever been in a situation where ppl tell u not to think of stuff...
u know they say stuff like "try not to think about it" or "dont think about it too much"
But can u really not think of something...is it possible to take control of ur mind like that....somehow its like telling a tiger not to eat meat....u can keep the tiger occupied for a while with other stuff...but sooner or later, when u run out of things to keep it occupied its going to eat the meat!!!!
same thing with me i guess...i try to not think of it but it doesnt work.... keeping my mind occupied with stuff helps for a while...but when my minds idle...like just before bed or when i wake up...or resting...times like that...then everything just comes flooding back into my mind....i start going over it all agn....
i dont know y i keep thinking bout it.... i know whats done is done....i guess i know i had not much choice in the matter....ppl keep saying that it was probably for the best.... but some how i guess i just dont feel comfortable with what i had to do...it just isnt me....its not who i am =(
maybe someday all this thinking n all these feelings will stop...maybe.......
The End
